242: Dressing With Confidence in Your Business

Michele  00:00

Hello, my name is Michele, and you're listening to Profit is a Choice. Joining me on the podcast today is Angela Foster. She is a style coach who is going to help us focus on how to be confident in what we're wearing no matter where we're going, and no matter what our sizes. We can all dress to accentuate our best features.  Listen in and learn how.

Michele  00:28

Every day, empowered entrepreneurs are taking ownership of their company financial health and enjoying the rewards of reduced stress and more creativity. With my background as a financial software developer, owner of multiple businesses in the interior design, industry, educator, and speaker, I coach women in the interior design industry to increase their profits, regain ownership of their bottom line, and to have fun again in their business. Welcome to Profit is a Choice.

Michele  01:05

Hey, Angela, welcome to the podcast.

Angela  01:07

Oh, Michele, thank you so much for having me, I am so excited to be here with you today.

Michele  01:12

Awesome, I am excited as well. And we're talking about something that is fun, and maybe flirty. I don't know, we could probably throw all types of adjectives in there but we're going to be talking about our style, dress, and dressing for confidence so that we feel good no matter what situation we find ourselves in. You shared a little bit with me before we got started but if you could share a little bit with our listeners telling us how you started your business and how you got to where you are today.

Angela  01:42

Yes, thank you for asking. Becoming a style coach was not ever something that I had on my radar. Back in 2017, a girlfriend just had her second baby and her husband had just asked her for a divorce. She was going through a lot of personal challenges and big upheavals and she said to me, just casually, I don't recognize my body, I don't have a style anymore. All I've been doing is taking care of kids and having babies and I just want to feel like myself again and you always look amazing, would you be willing to help me? I'm like, Oh, my gosh, of course, of course. So, it was very organic, the way it started. For four to six weeks, I just sent her some pictures. I was like, Oh my gosh, this would look amazing on you check it out. After we've been working together for a while another circle of her friends said You look great, I can't believe you've bounced back like this, you seem so happy what's going on? She said to me, do you mind if I give them your name and would you be willing to help them too? So that's kind of how it started, I got one coaching client and it snowballed into five and ten, and all of that. Since then, I came up with a very specific framework that I walk clients through so that it takes them from where they're at now, which is usually someplace like I have a closet packed with clothes and nothing to wear, to feeling confident that they can walk into their closet and grab anything and it looks great on them. So yes, in a nutshell.

Michele  03:11

I love that. I love that. So, I'll tell you, I coached a business owner who years ago was a stylist. What was so cool about it was there were so many parallels with the way that as a coach, I do my job, or as an interior designer we would do that. In interior design, window treatments, whatever it is that we're doing, we're going into that home, we are assessing how we want that room to feel how the client wants the room to feel what they're going to be doing in that room. How are they going to be using the room? How is the light going to work? What are the elements that are working with us and against this? And then we're going to make some recommendations based on all of those things. As a stylist or a style coach, you're doing the same thing. You're asking us our questions, you're evaluating the situation, and then you're making suggestions. The stylist that I worked with, I won’t tell who she is because she probably wishes that I would do some things differently today, but there were a couple of things that she did that I really loved.

Since we're going to focus on confidence for this episode, one of the things that she did was she had me walk into my closet and she had me take a first pass. If it is ripped, if it is torn and I don't mean intentionally like some of the ripped or torn stuff that we like to wear. But if it is ripped, if it's torn, if it's stained, if there's something wrong with that piece of clothing, take it out of your closet. Then she had me go through and take everything out that did not fit me properly. So that if it was those jeans that I really wanted to get into, or what I would call my next level jeans, the ones that I had to go into if my weight went up, she would have me go in and say if it is not currently fitting, she didn't say throw it away she said take it out of your closet. One of the best things she ever said was if it is in your closet, it should fit you and you should be able to walk in and put it on without question. Instead of standing there saying will this fit, will that fit? It fits me, or it does not fit me. The next thing she did was she asked me how do I want to feel in my clothes and she made me give her three adjectives. I can remember I said I wanted to be comfortable. There is nothing where if we were on a cruise, and I put on a new shirt that I had bought, and the minute we started to leave the cabin, I could feel it scratching on my side and I stopped and walk back in and cut the tag out where it was scratched me and I said this would bug me all day long. Her thing was you tell me the three words. I said I want to feel comfortable, I wanted to feel confident, that was my big word, and then the third word was kind of up for grabs, sporty, flirty, beautiful, responsible, whatever that extra word was for where I was going to go. But the two that did not change are comfortable and confident. Tell me what your framework looks like and if it includes any of those kinds of things.

Angela  06:08

Yes. There was so much goodness in what you just said. Because we are talking about confidence, if we could just circle back, the whole thing of if it doesn't fit me right now, get it out of my closet, there is nothing worse for a woman's confidence than when she walks into her closet in the morning, she has 10 minutes to figure out an outfit and it's like, doesn't fit, too small, too tight. Going through that every single morning is such a drain on our happiness and how we present ourselves to the world. I love that she had you do that. And even if it's a situation of it's too big, it doesn't fit, it's slowing us down. We don't have time for this. I mean, we all know we have a lot on our plate to get accomplished. The faster we can get dressed and feel awesome and get out of the house, the better off we are. So yes.

Michele  06:56

Yes. And the beautiful thing here too, Angela, and I'll throw this out for the listeners if they're feeling a little bit of angst over that, like I did, I got a little angsty over it because there were some things that I really love. As designers, we walk into that all the time you walk into somebody's house, and you're seeing this picture, and you're thinking that picture doesn't go there and they're like, but my grandmother gave me that there's some attachment. When we think about it, we have an attachment, sometimes with clothing items, maybe not because of the beauty of the item, but something that it represents. The thing that she said to me was to move it to another closet, move it. And then if you go back in the next six months, and you need it and you get it, and then you have it. If you know that your weight fluctuates, create stacks, this is a stack for when I go up. This is the stack for when I go down and swap them out. You might swap them out if it were a season. She gave me permission to get rid of things. But she gave me permission to keep the things that I needed to keep. I just didn't need to keep them in this space.

Exactly for the reason that you said because it is draining. I don't know if you know this, but I believe Steve Jobs, you know, he always wore that black turtleneck, and one of the things I don't know that was necessarily for confidence, but was because they said he made so many decisions he didn't want to make another decision. So, he just decided this is all that I'm going to wear, and that decision is already made. I will say most of us as designers, we'd like to live a life that's a little bit more rounded and fuller of color all over the department so that might not work for us. You used a phrase before we got on, mind chatter. We have enough mind chatter; we all have mind chatter. But the mind chatter This doesn't fit you must mean something is wrong unless you're going down a size and I'm not saying this is right or wrong, this is just the way our brains tend to work. Unless we're going down a size, unless it's too big for us, then we're having this chatter that something is wrong. This isn't good and we're starting our day with our own internal mind chatter that is not setting us up for confidence and success and joy and all those things that we need to be who we need to be in our day-to-day job. So just removing those things clears that part of the mind chatter,

Angela  09:15

Right, yes. 100%. I read the same thing about Steve Jobs. I heard a stat one time, and it said the average American makes 64,000 decisions a day. Even if it's just a no I'm not going to wear that, no, I'm not going to wear that. Those start piling up until eventually we just have decision fatigue, and can't you know, don't have any energy left for the things as business owners that are important to decide and to move on. So yes, I love all of that. In answer to your question about the framework, there's the spark method and it's an acronym. The very first place that clients and I start is with body shape. What is your body shape, and what are the styles and shapes, and silhouettes that are going to flatter it the best? When I first started coaching, after my initial client, we would talk about body shape and I heard a lot of, oh, I'm an apple, and my boobs are too big, and my shoulders are too wide. Or I'm a pear and my butt's too big, and my thighs are too. It was always, this is what I am, and this is why it's bad or wrong. Again, it goes back to mind chatter and your mindset when you walk out of the door. So, I threw that away. That's not how we talked about body shape around here, it's all about just finding the balance. If you have a more delicate hip and thigh area, then that's where we want to add volume for you to have that balanced silhouette. Or vice versa. If you have a more delicate shoulder and bust area, then we can add volume there, and then all of a sudden, it becomes a thing.

Michele  10:52

I like that we're delicate. I like it. I think I'm going to adopt that word. You know what, I'm just going to stop and say this, it is so much more of a gracious way to speak about these amazing bodies that God has created us with that do amazing things. We ask so much of our body. I did not appreciate my pancreas until it quit working. We need to honor these bodies and point out the areas that are wonderfully made and beautifully made. So, what if I've got a big butt and big legs, they are hopefully they're strong, and they're getting me somewhere. I just love the idea of talking about it in a more affirming way like this is my delicate shoulders or whatever it is just giving ourselves words to be kind and gracious about these wonderful bodies that move us around all day, every day.

Angela  11:49

100%, I could not agree more. And then it becomes a thing of, oh, I get to wear volume on top. It's giving us something versus taking something away, which again, is just all this negativity piling up on itself. So, one of the things with clients, when I first start working with them, if I feel a little bit of resistance to this thought process, I have them put a post-it note on the mirror and say,  I'm so blessed because of my delicate bust. Instead of saying like, my boobs aren't big enough. I have, you know, delicate bust and all of that, and be thankful for that.

Michele  12:24

I love it. You know, I'm type one diabetic and I have had to look at not here are the foods I cannot eat, but I instead have tried to do the whole, this is what fuels my body, this is what is good for my body, oh, I can have more of this because this is what my body needs for energy, as opposed to looking at all the things that I cannot have or should not have or whatever. I love using that same approach is the one that we use in business as well. It's very much that growth mindset that Carol Dweck talks about in Moving Forward.

 Alright, so after the s, do you mind just telling us what your acronym is? Then I want to move us into the conversation where we can talk about how we all are dressing for different things. I said my last thing was flirty or confident. We have places to go people to see we've got networking events, we've got speaking events, we've got photo shoots for our branding, website, social media, going to the grocery store and not wanting to break brand, like we've got these things that are happening. and I want to talk about how we can build confidence in our day-to-day and in the ways that we need to show up for business and use your SPARK method as the backbone for that confidence. “S” is shape what is P?

Angela  13:48

The P is for pants. I work with a lot of petites and let's be honest, 44% of America and women 5’4” and under. There's a lot of short girls out there and pants, no matter how tall or short you are problematic in the midsection, the length, the leg shape, all of that. We create a three-step perfect pant formula. You'll always know if they fit before you buy them or before you waste time trying them on. The “A” is for accessories. What are your signature accessories going to be and how can we easily use that to pull your look all together, so you always look polished.

Then the “R” is refine your style. That's where we talk about the colors now this can be two-fold. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners, and they have brand colors that they have to incorporate. There are also the colors that look best on your skin tone, so we nail those down. This may not be the sexiest part of it, but the thing that makes it so powerful is that when 80% of your closet is in a certain color palette, it makes mixing and matching so much easier. Which just circles back again to making getting dressed and deciding what to wear easier in the morning. And then the other part of refine your style is to your point, the three words. I work mostly with one-on-one coaching clients. They create a Pinterest board with each of the three words. They pin aspirational styles, what edgy means to them, what does that look like to you, because professional to you and professional to me, it’s very, very different. It matters more about what it means to them, but it also gives me an idea when I'm shopping for them what they're looking for.

The “K” is the closet edit. We purge the things that are no longer serving us. We choose if it needs to be altered, if it needs to be donated, or if it needs to be put in a box when we do closet edits because that can be very stressful. Especially when you've spent a lot of money, you're looking at this pile and you're like, oh my god, this is so much money right here. When you put it in a box, put it out of the way someplace where you don't think about it, and set an alarm on your phone for 30 days. And if you have not broken open that box in 30 days, your decisions were right. And if you said oh my gosh, no, I really do want that black pencil skirt. You can snag it out of there and there's no fear.

Michele  16:10

Yes, I love that. One of the things that I did this year was because I didn't realize until the first time I did a closet edit, I didn't realize the emotions that I was going to have. It was almost like having a therapy session on some of it. As I was working with the stylist, I was looking at the clothes thinking I had paid XYZ and she said, Are you wearing it? I said no. She said, well if you pay that money and you're not wearing it, you're letting it rot without use. What if you were to donate it or sell it to somebody who would wear it and then they actually would use it? And I thought, ah, okay, so then it flipped, you know, the mind chatter it flipped to the conversation, it flipped the script. It was like, now I can put this item, um, to use or to service for somebody else who might need it, as opposed to hoarding it in my closet out of guilt. So, the negative aspect of it, I have used those lessons in my life. It's almost like Marie Kondo-ing.

My mother had to clean out a closet in which she had kept some of my grandmother's things. This was a year ago, so last year, I was able to take these ideas and concepts and say to my mom, what are we going to do with this? Who's using it? Do we need to keep it? Is this a family heirloom? Does it fit you? Does it not fit you? All while she stood there and emotionally kind of walked through years of her life with these clothes because she saw events tied to when she wore them. I don't want us to miss that this isn't a flippant process. Sometimes it's not one that you can even do by yourself. It's a process that says, I'm going to come alongside you and help you deal with the logic and the emotion of how you're dressing. Because both pieces have to come together for us to feel confident in what we have on.

Angela  18:11

Yes, absolutely. And I think just circling back to the whole how much I paid for it. There is a guilt thing there. Unfortunately, if I paid $300-500 for the dress, and I'm not wearing it, me not wearing it and keeping holding on to it is not to say get my money back. I mean, it's gone so we just have to move on from it. But that's where things like Thread Up and Poshmark are so fantastic because it does help alleviate a little bit of that, oh, I messed up, I shouldn't have bought it kind of feel.

Michele  18:46

We have a great charity here where we live that supports women who are coming out of abusive situations, and it gives them a chance to get dressed. But then also they sell some of it like in a little boutique and so it's nicer things but you're able to donate it, have a tax write off, but you're donating it somewhere where you know that women can come in and use those things. Again, gives the purpose to giving it away and it kind of helps balance a little bit.

Angela  19:17

Yes. Absolutely.

Michele  19:21

We have the SPARK method. I'm going to quickly recap: Shape Pants, Accessories, Refine, meaning refine style, and K for a closet edit.

Angela 19:30

Yep. You got it, girl.

Michele  19:32

With that process, I'm a process gal, so love it, talk to me about how do we go about figuring out what our personal style or signature style is. I've often wondered what mine is. I still don't know what mine is. I think I am I hope it's not offensive, I think I'm a little schizophrenic with what I like. I like so many things. There are some people that you can look at and you're like, oh, that's her style. I always find it interesting when I'm shopping with other people, and they point out things like this looks like you this looks like you this looks like you. One thing that I love is florals. I love all things flowers. I'm in my mid-50s, moving towards the late part of the 50s in a few months, and I am finally making peace with the fact that I like bright colors, fun colors, all the florals, give it to me. I like black, and I like white. But if I had a whole closet of black and white, that would not represent me. You can see behind me, I mean, I'm like, give me some glam. Give me some flowers, give me comfort and I think it's taken me time to say it's okay if I wear all that because the people around me are all dressing so stately and Calvin Klein-ish. And I'm like, I'm so glad that you guys are J Crew and Calvin Klein, but I'm like, give me the floral.

Angela  20:56

No, I love that. I do think it takes a while to find it. You and I are the same age, so when I look back on it, I think it probably wasn't until I was 30-ish before I started to figure it out and to be quite honest, it's changed several times. Just as you get older and your personality changes, your job requirements change. Regarding finding what your personal style is, I have clients do a brain dump. With ‘dressing your brand’, I've been doing a lot of lunch and learn for companies lately. One of the things one of the exercises that we do during lunch and learn is a brain dump of all the potential words that you think would describe your style. When you think you've written them all down, keep going. Listen to what you said you had said, you had given her the words comfortable and confident. But now you're talking about colorful and floral, so much more specific words. So, I always challenge them to keep pushing, like if you want to be responsible and classic. Just push it a little bit more. It's more descriptive for you. It helps not only because we can articulate what our style is, but it makes everything else so much easier. Especially shopping. One of the things my clients often say is, I'm so much more deliberate when I shop now when I think about my words. It doesn't matter if I walk through Nordstrom and there's a black suit that's on sale and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's amazing and it's $200 off. Well, if classic or conservative are not your words, it doesn't matter how much it's on sale, a black suit is not going to be your jam, so don't buy it. So, it just makes it so much easier and gives you mental permission just to walk by it, even if it's a great sale.

Michele  22:46

The other thing that I have thought about too is when I buy something, can I style it three different ways. Can I use it and more than one thing versus this is the only way that I'm going to be able to wear it? I ask myself; do I feel beautiful in this? Do I feel amazing in this? You know, words that kind of take confidence and amp it up a little bit? Do I feel like I can present myself in this in the way that I want to for whatever the event is? And I got to tell you, these days, at least for me, it feels like all the words around what used to be kind of stated expectations have shifted. For example, we just had a formal wedding and the different things that people wore to a formal wedding were their interpretation of what to wear to a formal wedding. But we had a broad range. Everybody was beautiful, but it was a broad range. It went from a normal Sunday-type dress. I mean, of course, I was the mother of the groom, but I'm in a long dress with a train. We went from sequins and long to a tea-length dress. So, it was all over the place. Now that we have become much more relaxed in our dressing and our day-to-day, it has created an ambiguity. It has created an I've got to go to this event, and I don't even know what to wear. I don't even know what the expectations are. You've got people now coming in beautiful $300 dresses, but tennis shoes, which I love that cute little style very French, I love it. But then you've got somebody in Manolo, you know, they've gotten like the $400 shoes, and then you don't even know what to do so because there is confusion. Maybe nobody else feels I feel it. I'm looking at something and I'm reading the description and I'm like, I don't even know what that means.

Angela  24:39

Exactly. Michele. No, you are not the only one. In fact, I hear it all day, every day. So no, absolutely. And to your point, it's gotten worse sent COVID. It used to be that we knew what casual Friday in the office meant, like wearing something instead of khakis. And then you know, we spent two years wearing yoga pants and everybody's like Oh my gosh, I don't even know how to dress. Not only that, but the clothes that used to make sense and used to fit don't fit anymore. It's just left us in this kind of vacuum.

Michele  25:10

Or we don't have the event to go and to wear it. I have certain clothes in my closet that I bought for events, that then those events got shut down and now I'm sitting with those that I love. They're amazing. I'm just looking for the event. Can somebody have an event where I can wear an off-the-shoulder brocade design? I could wear it to go see Barbie, it's pink, I'm just saying, I've got some beautiful clothes. The expectation was there that the event was going to happen, and it didn't happen. And so, to your point, now we're sitting here going, I don't even know how to dress anymore. Where's the line between comfortable and stylish and cute and not always yoga pants, but maybe sometimes yoga pants? How do we elevate yoga pants? So, with this confusion, it comes down to just feeling really great. And whatever we choose to wear, right?

Angela  26:02

Bingo, Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly. So, the question I asked is, when my clients bring this up, I say to them, will you feel confident if you're the best-dressed person in the room? Or are you okay with being the most casual person in the room? And, or somewhere in between? Tell me more about that. It doesn’t it matter if I'm going to be dressier than everybody else, if I'm okay with that, then great, then do that. But you must figure out where your comfort level is on that scale and then we can work from there. Did that answer the question?

Michele  26:39

Yes, that's true. So, when you support your clients in accentuating maybe the more delicate areas or the areas they want to highlight, or with their signature accessory style, what are some of the tips and tricks that you give them to do that?

Angela  26:55

The very first thing that we do before we ever talk about delicate hips or delicate busts or anything like that is I have them pick out their favorite feature. And with 90% of my clients, it's going to be bust or legs. The majority of women fall into one of those categories. I've had a few women who love their balm, and a few who loved their waist. I had a woman one time who loved her arms, she did have amazing arms so I can see that.

Michele  27:20

That’s funny.  Mine is more neck and shoulders. I'm like, let's ignore the rest, and let's just look right here.

Angela  27:24

But that has so many opportunities that that whole décolleté area. We've figured out what your favorite feature is first, and then before we worry about anything else, we come up with ways to accentuate it. For example for you, you love your décolleté area, in which case just and we would obviously have to have a little bit more information, but then where are we at with V necks? Where are you at with jewelry necklaces and earrings? Everything that brings the attention to that area. Also, can we find styles that maybe have a little bit of detail around the neckline to again, bring your attention there first? That's what we focus on and then we worry about other things. I don't want to come off as Pollyanna, like we never talked about like the fact that my stomach isn't as flat as I want it to be or anything like that, it's just not what we focus on. First, we focus on the good stuff.

Michele  28:19

I'll give you a little bit of my journey because I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I was skinny-mini through school through high school. I don't even think I cracked 100 pounds until I was well into my work life. When graduated high school I was wearing 14 T in the teen department I was so thin. So, I think that's why neck and shoulders have always been my thing because there ain't a whole lot more going on. Then, I had babies and my body shifted and it changed. It bounced back after the first baby not as much after the second baby. I started having trouble with my endocrine system and thyroid. I was pre-diabetic and didn't know that I had insulin resistance and then I got much bigger than I had ever been, and I was uncomfortable in my clothes. I can remember one summer telling my husband I'm not wearing shorts this entire summer. I mean I'm telling you I went from a size zero to I'm not even wearing shorts and I went and bought sun dresses, and I wore sundresses the entire summer because I felt comfortable in them, and they were still cool. Then I was diagnosed as a type one diabetic. I lost 30 pounds. So, then I'm back to a 00 in my clothes. I've got a range of clothes like nobody's business. Then it took my body time after surgeries and all kinds of other medical events that I had to get back to maybe a more stable size where I might shift up or down five pounds just going through menopause and all this yummy stuff that happens as women where my body is shifting, again, the hormonal shifts and changes.

I gotta tell you, I have struggled, I think most women who have gone through any of that, and it doesn't matter where your start or end is, I'm making the point that there have been five or six size differentiations between there, if not more, to manage, and to try to feel as confident and comfortable in those stages. How do you help women manage that because our bodies change? Even men's bodies change but they don't seem to care, not quite the same way that women seem to care. Not pointing any fingers at our lovely men, but as the majority, it doesn't seem to impact them the same way. As women, we are judged and we judge ourselves whether we like to admit it or not, there is a conversation that happens in our brain based on how we see people, and based on how we perceive them to see us. So, my first question to you is, how do you help support clients who are going through that and all those changes?

Angela  31:08

Yes, well, the first thing is, we just have to be honest. As women, our bodies are changing and will change. It's just one of those things, it starts at puberty, and then to your point, we get pregnant, we have the baby, whatever happens happens, we go through menopause, or we have medical, it's just that our bodies will change. I find that with clients, once they go through the SPARK method, and they understand the technique of adding volume where you need it, where your body needs it, and minimizing volume where you don't need it, then it doesn't matter when your body changes, because the thought process is still the same. I have a little bit more volume around my middle, it's okay, I know how to deal with that. Women when they when they have a plan, and when they feel like they're in control and empowered it makes everything easier. Then it's not a situation of, oh, I gained five pounds, and the jeans don't fit anymore. It's okay, I know what to do.

Michele  32:04

It sounds very much like having tools in the toolbox. You're SPARK method is giving us tools that take some of the emotion out that then allows us to go okay, I don't like these five pounds, I don't like the gain, that loss, or whatever it is the change or redistribution. I don't necessarily like that, or that's not what I signed up for. However, I have a tool in my toolbox. Let me go back and look at the pants method, the three steps, and look at what do I need to accentuate now. What do I need to minimize now? How do I need to make this flattering now, so that I can still feel good? I love that, because it's not about staying the same size, and it's not about staying in the same thing. It's about using these tools and these thought processes and frameworks to come with us as we journey and travel through our lives to feel good in our clothes.

Angela  33:02

Absolutely, and Michele, those are all big life moments that we were talking about, right? You know, getting pregnant and menopause, those are all big things. But also, it just helps going from season to season, when you know the styles and the silhouette that are going to look best on you. And it's the new fall season and you're walking through Bloomingdale's, and you see a six-foot-tall mannequin, who is a size zero, and you're like, oh my god, I love that dress. And then you put it on and you're like, what? It makes walking away past that dress so much easier, because, from a non-emotional standpoint, you can go like, well, Yes, but I'm not six feet tall and I'm not a size zero, so we're going to just keep moving on. Even closet updates make it so much easier just to keep going. So, for all my clients, I walk them through that. Now, for some clients, that's all they need. The thing is everybody thinks, oh, women love to shop, or they should just pop out of the womb and be good at it. Well, that's not true. I mean, we graduate from college, we get our first credit card, we have to get some clothes so that we can go to our job.

Unless you have a super stylish sister or mom who taught you these things, very few women just know how to shop naturally. Walking them through those five steps, really get them to that point that if they love to shop, terrific. Now you have the tools that you need to know how to. I also have clients that are just like, I either hate to shop, I need you to shop for me, or I don't have time or I have such limited free time, and the time that I do have, I don't want it to be at a mall or online when I could be with my family or I could be growing my business or you know a plethora of other things. So, then they just want to delegate it to somebody else, which is fine too.

Michele  34:47

You know what I love about this is that I'm one of those short girls. I started at five foot four. I'm probably somewhere between five three and five, three and a half as time has pushed me down as my husband says, we do get a little shorter in our age. I'm in that 5’3” or 5’4” range, which is a very weird place to be. It is because some of the petite things don't fit me right based on my body and some of the regular-size clothes don't fit me right. Sometimes if I were the regular, the top would be too long. But if I moved to petite, it's all too short. Trying to find the pieces and parts and the companies and the brands that make things in the way that fits is difficult. These wide-leg jeans are coming out and everything I've seen for the fall is wide-leg jeans. It looks so good on those six-foot women. I used to pray to God please overnight, let me grow to five foot eight because that's where all the styles that I like fit people. I'm a short person. When I put those things on, I look round, I look dumpy, I look frumpy, and I'm sitting here thinking to myself, this is not flattering on me. Somebody else puts it on and I'm like, that's the way it was meant to look. I still like to shop a lot online. I watch different influencers. I can see the clothes they wear and what I've appreciated lately is influencers who put out there and say, This is how tall I am, this is my bust size, this is my hip size, this is my waist size, so that you know what you're seeing, and you know the size of the person that you're looking at. Because otherwise, it's easy to assume that you're the same size that I am. Then I buy it and I'm like this did not fit me like it fit you. It's been nice to find those influencers that are with you around my size that I can go oh, that's what it looks like on a body like that.

Angela  36:38

Let me know if I miss anything. In regards to your sizing and petite or regular and all of that, a lot of times petite women think that petite sizes just mean shorter. There are actually seven different measurements that go into a true petite size, from the shoulders to the elbow allowance, the knee, and all of that. So yes, there is length. The thing that throws us off so much though is there will be brands and I don't want to mention anyone specifically, but typically brands or retailers that have a regular and a petite in the same styles, and they just chop it off the petite one-off shorter. So then if you have a shorter rise, meaning on pants, and this brand, just chopped it off shorter, it's still not going to fit you. So, it throws it off and the bad information makes shopping even harder. I have some very specific petite like true petite brands. Once you know if you are a true petite, meaning top and bottom both work, or are you a fancy petite hybrid, meaning your longer waisted so you can get by with regular size tops, and then pair them with petite pants. Once you know your formula, and you know your numbers, it makes getting shopping so much easier because you know what to avoid. There are some shopping sites now that also put the model height on. You can tap under different sites and call it different things, usually, it's like specs or measurements or something like that, but it'll say she's 5’9”, and she weighs 110 pounds. This is the size. So, you can also measure it like where's that hem falling on her and know if it's if it's worth it or not.

Michele  38:16

Yes, that's good. For men, it seems a lot easier because usually they're not wearing their clothes maybe as fitted as women so they can get by with little more of the allowances than we can and their bodies are not as different. I mean, it's just different. For my husband, we know the size he wears, I can just about order anything in this size and it fits him. You know, when we got married and he started helping buy clothes for me or he wanted to gift me with something, he couldn't understand why I could go to the same store and I could wear a small in this and an extra small in this and a medium and this. He said you came home with three different size shirts from this same store, I don't understand. I explained that's the way it works. It's my body. It's not a plug-and-play, this isn't Garanimals, I can't just pull it together. What I did over the years was I finally found places where whether I was a size zero or a size 10 their clothes fit my body. Then it didn't matter. I just knew that if I could go there, it didn't matter so much what the size was I knew that proportionally as long as they kept those proportions it would fit me, and I just said give me a gift card there. You're off the hook.

I still may have to try things on but just give me a gift card. I'm going to take it for the gift that it is and then you can move on. He was taking it very personally that he could not buy something that fit me and I was trying to say to him This isn't a you problem, this is everybody out there problem. That is the way that things are sized, and it changes all the time. So, thank you for bringing that up. I think it is so important. I'm excited to see if I can work with you because I think it is so important to understand our bodies to know what it is we're addressing. Think about it this way, as designers, we would never go in and start specking furniture for a room that we didn't know the sizes of, we would never do that. We would go in, we would know the sizes of the walls, we would know where the doors are, we would know what we wanted to accentuate and what we wanted to minimize, and we would know where we wanted the focal point of that room to be. We would take those measurements, we would create a floor plan, and then start buying furniture pieces of the size and proportion that fit into that plan. That's how we do it. Why do we not do that in our own clothing, I don't even know my current sizes. I just put it all on hold through COVID and ate my sandwich, and moved on. I'm still thankful that most things still fit. But you know, I do think that COVID caused us to have the need to clear the brain to handle something and I think for many of us that kind of got cleared. My best friend does a group program where you can work on your spiritual self, you can work on your body, with your breathing and your stretching and your exercise. She helps you think about all the things that you're going to do trying to get back in touch with ourselves. I think this is a good next piece and it is to know how our clothes fit, and to move the decision-making. I'll tell you the worst thing is buying online, having it not fit you, and having to go back or having to return it. I would be just about ready to go donate it than to have to go through a return process. I just don't like it. I don't like any of it. Having a process that allows us to think, to edit, before we ever purchase, and to know what we're looking for. Sounds amazing. It's sure it certainly sounds profitable for me with my time because I don't have time for the other.

Angela  42:03

No, and no one does. When you’re running a business and growing your empire. Nobody has time for that nonsense going back and forth. I love that. Yes, I think we were all more in survival mode during COVID and I think there just wasn't any mind space left for anything else like that.

Michele  42:24

We were just in Alaska, and I'm seeing that they're getting back out and they're saying, I want to live again. I almost feel like for two or three years, our life was on some kind of weird hold, where we were just kind of stepping out. I think people are realizing we're going to have to have a new normal, but I'm ready to get dressed. I'm ready to go out, I'm ready to experience life again. So, I'm so thankful that you have a framework that helps us do that with ease. I remember, Angela, during COVID thinking I don't want to lose this calm because there was a calmness of being home and everything being stripped away. Everything was closed and it almost brought this very insular feeling of “I'm at home. I'm with the people I love. I'm calming, I'm chilling because there's nowhere to go and nothing to do” and I don't want to lose that. I think what you are bringing allows us to have more space for that as opposed to oh gosh, I've got to go the mall, I don't know what I'm looking for, hopefully, I'll know it if I see it. I'm going to try on 5000 things and I'm going to feel fat, ugly, and miserable when I leave and then I'm going to go home with one shirt that I kind of halfway like.

Angela  43:31

Michele, you said it beautifully. That's it in a nutshell, right? None of what you said just sounded like fun at all. I love one blouse that you don't even like. Well, you have to get dressed tomorrow, what are you going to wear? There are a lot of things but the one thing that probably makes the biggest difference, and I definitely want your listeners to hear it is this. Don't ever go to the mall without a plan. Without a very specific list. Don't ever go on to Bloomingdales.com or Nordstrom.com without knowing exactly what you're looking for. It's just a total time suck. I mean, nobody has time to look for 19,000 skirts at Nordstrom. Make a list. Be specific. Know your numbers, know how the brand fits you and I can help with that. Have a list and stick to your list. If it's not on your list and you buy it, it better be amazing. Like, blow your socks off amazing.

Michele  44:35

I love that. Angela, tell people where they can find you and how they can get in touch with you if they need some of this amazing spark in their life.

Angela  44:43

I love it. So, I have a brand new free gift for you and your listeners and I'm super excited about it. It is the three simple steps to making an amazing first impression. It's designed for women who are dressing for their business or their personal brand. They can snag their copy of the little workbook and a video tutorial to walk them through the steps and explain each of them. It takes about 10 minutes, and it's great. If they go to www.angelastylecoach.com/profit, they'll get worksheets and the link to the video.

Michele  45:21

Awesome. I will put all that in our show notes. And are you on Instagram or Facebook or anywhere else?

Angela  45:27

I was going to say LinkedIn is kind of my jam. That's Angela Style Coach over there, too. I would love it. If they would send me a connection request. Let me know that this is where they heard about our conversation and ask me anything. I'm absolutely 100% there to support them. So, ask me anything.

Michele  45:45

That sounds amazing. Thank you for bringing this conversation. I think sometimes we feel like we don't give ourselves permission to spend time and energy on dressing for confidence in dressing to feel good. I remember one time my dad showed up at the hospital when my granddad was having surgery in a suit. We asked him, Why do you have that suit on to sit at the hospital all day? That was what he normally wore to work, and that was back in the days when the men wore suits. He said I feel confident and more in control in a suit than in jeans and a T-shirt and so since I might have to make some decisions, I showed up in a suit. I thought that was where he knew how the clothing affected how he presented and his own internal mind chatter and I've never forgotten that. I love that you're giving us the tools that no matter what our body does, no matter what the event is, we can kind of walk through it, answer these questions, and then feel confident with our choices. Thank you for bringing that conversation to us today.

Angela  46:48

No, Michele, thank you for having me. I absolutely love talking to you.

Michele  46:52

I will put all of this in the show notes. And I will talk to you soon.

Angela  46:57

Okay, that sounds great. Thanks, guys.

Michele  47:00

Angela, thank you so much for joining us what a great conversation. I think sometimes we don't think about profitability in terms of what we're wearing. But when we dress, not just dress to impress, but dress for our own confidence and we allow our mind chatter to be positive and encouraging, it puts us in a position to show up differently for our team, for ourselves, and for our clients, and that brings profitability. So, if you don't know these things, reach out to Angela and let her help you.

I also want to encourage you to feel confident about the business that you're building. If you don't feel confident about that, reach out to me, I would love to talk to you and help you think about these three terms that we talked about with our clothing. You know, how do you want to feel when in your clothes, I'd love to ask you how do you want to feel when you go to work every day. How do you want to feel in your business and is that what you currently have? And if those things are not in alignment, let me help you get those in line. You can reach out to me for a discovery call at scarletthreadconsulting.com on the Work with Me page and I would love an opportunity to talk to you about what could be all things related to profit in some way our clothing, our business, and our mind chatter. Let's take those thoughts and let's put them to work for us instead of against us and that will be our profit. Don't forget profit doesn't happen by accident.

Michele  48:26

Profit is a Choice is proud to be part of the designnetwork.org where you can discover more design media reaching creative listeners. Thanks for listening and stay creative and business-minded.