233: How to Remove Summer Stress

Michele  00:01

Hello, my name is Michele, and you're listening to Profit is a Choice. Every year around this time since my kids were young, I would always be thinking about how we would handle summer plans. Which camps are they going to? When are they going? How can I have a more relaxed schedule at work, and move my projects along at the same time? Maybe like me, you don't have kids at home right now and don't have kids at all. But you still want to have a very relaxed summer schedule. No matter what, listen in to this episode that we originally recorded back in 2019. Because the lessons and time management and project expectations still apply.

Every day, empowered entrepreneurs are taking ownership of their company financial health and enjoying the rewards of reduced stress and more creativity. With my background, as a financial software developer, owner of multiple businesses in the interior design, industry, educator, and speaker, I coach women in the interior design industry to increase their profits regain ownership of their bottom line, and to have fun again in their business. Welcome to Profit is a Choice.

Michele  01:16

Today, let's hit on this topic that we're right in the middle of, summer. These 12 weeks seem to be the most challenging when we have kids at home, no matter their ages, whether they're really small, all the way up to maybe high school age. Because we're also trying to work a business that needs constant care and attention, while home might need that care and attention. So, before we jump into summer options, I'm just going to throw this out there. I know that this is not a podcast that only women listen to, but I do know that our industry is heavily saturated with women. And because of that, here's an interesting conversation you've probably heard, or you've seen it all over the place. But it is this, my sweet husband never has to think twice about getting up and going to work. And wondering if he should feel guilty while he's at work because the kids are doing something or they're playing or whatever. But as the mom, I tend to take that guilt on myself. He doesn't put it on me, I take it on myself. I've got this business, you have this business, whether it's part-time, three-quarters time, full-time to two-thirds time, whatever time.

Why do we feel like we've got all this guilt and this weight? I don't know why, but I think it's because we've been told that we can do it all. You all know my thought on that if you've listened to the podcast for any time, I don't think we can do it all all at the same time. So I do think that we have to be careful with what we do and how we do it. Like it has to be intentional, it has to be a choice. Some things have to give, we always have to make a decision. And so I'm going to throw that out that says you have the right to make the decision for your family with your spouse, your partner, your husband. You guys get to talk about this and make a decision on what this all looks like. I just want to say that we don't have to feel all that guilt. We'll talk about that a little bit more as we go through the podcast. But we're trying to make some decisions here so that you can work with intentionality, without the guilt, because that guilt is horrible and it weighs you down.

Summer is upon us, and we have a couple of options. I'm going to throw those options out there; we're going to talk about them. And then we're going to move in and talk about the kind of mindset that we need to have during the summer. And even moving into the summer some things that we can do to prepare so that maybe next summer, we can handle it in advance. So here are our options, you know, and there may be more this is not meant to be a completely exhaustive list, but it is meant to get us started.

3:53 Option number one, that is you're going to maybe try to keep the exact same schedule that you have during the school year or the regular part of the year, throughout the summer. Some of you may find that that's what you need that this is an absolute full-time job, that the family is you know, in need of all the income that you bring in, you don't really have the option of slowing or stopping or quitting or whatever else. So you're going to continue, just like anybody else would, and work full-time over the summer.

If that is where you are, and that is the choice that you've made, this may mean things like finding summer camps for your kids. It may mean bringing in a nanny or a summer babysitter and au pair. Somebody did come in and fill up those school hours that would have normally been filled up with your kid in either preschool or daycare or school. Some people find that working that way is the best for them not only for the income, but just for consistency, and continuity. Maybe they've got a storefront or maybe their client load is so heavy, that there's just no way around that. And maybe it's just what they want to do. It's just the life they've chosen and what they've done it. Again, I'm not saying any of this with judgment so everybody has to come to choose the path that works for them and their family. And there are a lot of things and factors that need to be considered. I remember being a full-time working mom and having kind of this thing, but the stay-at-home moms. And then I came home and was a stay-at-home mom for a couple of months. And then I was a part-time working mom. And, you know, we've just got to support each other, and everybody's got to choose their path. So we’re going to let all that go.

5:38 The second option is to reduce your workload during the summer so that you have more time with your family while the kids are at home. Many of the designers and the workrooms that I work with have chosen this. They've chosen to not stop the business and not keep it at the same high level, but to maybe back off a little bit to be able to allow for a little more relaxed schedule during the summer. This option could allow you to be more mom or dad during the summer, and you know, other people are doing the same thing. Everybody's taking their vacations during the summer by and large in the States. Everybody has a little bit more of a relaxed attitude during that time. If there's ever a time to do it, I would say this, this summer break is the time to do it, as well as maybe that week between Christmas and New Year's. We see a lot of companies and a lot of people choosing to take a little more of a relaxed approach and maybe that's what you want to do.

6:39  The third option is to maybe work flex time. That could be that you keep the same high load, it may be that you have a relaxed low workload, but that the time that you're spending in the company is flexible. I did this a lot when my kids were younger. I started my business when they were I think two and a half and five. I would get up, even when I first started, I worked early in the morning before they got up. I would work maybe while they were taking a nap. I worked all around them as much as I could. And then even during the summers I got up and worked early mornings, let them sleep in, or some mornings of the week, I would work morning so that we play in the afternoon. And sometimes I would work in the afternoon and we would go to the zoo or something in the morning since it was going to be hot. I would just work my days. I still got the same amount of work in even with a little bit of a relaxed schedule. But I scheduled it differently on my calendar.

Another option is to work two days or three days and take the other two days off. So instead of spreading it out, combine it into two long days and have the rest of the time off. Creating a flexible schedule allows you to still have fun with the family and still get things done and a lot of this is dependent too on how you interact with your clients, but that is an option. And then another option that I have even seen some do is they just take the entire three months off. They take time off from the time their kids get out of school until they go back. So, for this one, I do want to put in some cautionary kind of parentheses around it. It sounds wonderful. I mean, who wouldn't want a three-month vacation? But if it is not done with the utmost care, it can cripple your business.

In this option, your clients really need to be fully aware before signing on with you that you're going to stop work when the kids get out of school, and that you're taking a three-month hiatus and then starting back. Some are not going to be okay with that. What it also forces you to do is potentially get all of your work done, let's say between January and May if you're going to take June, July, and August off so that you can start back. It may limit the type of work and the projects that you do for the entire year because of how you're going to have to work around that. Another part of that option is maybe you take the time off, but you have staff that continues to work full-time or part-time. I’ve seen that as well and it can work. So that's not necessarily a problem. It just has to be planned for. So we've looked at your options, we've talked about keeping the same schedule, reducing your workload, working with flex time, or opting to truly take the time off.

9:34  Let's move into mindset because, for each of these options, we have to have some realistic expectations. And so mindset can be a biggie during the summer. If you have not considered what's going to keep your family and your business both feeling happy and healthy and whole. Then we need to do that first before we choose one of these options meaning we don't want to make a decision in a vacuum. If you are a parent or you have children or just a different family, your life obligations in the summer and you have to shift your schedule, we need to do that with intentionality. If you know anything about me and the way that I coach and advise, and work in my business, it's that we're to own our actions, own our choices, and everything we do is with intentionality. Hence, Profit is a Choice.

10:25 What I want you to do is sit down and think about what is it you want your summer to look like. How do you want it to feel? How much money do you need to make? How many hours do you need to work or want to work? What does it look like? If it were to work out the way you want it, what would that be? Because there are always tradeoffs. If we choose to reduce our workload, or if we choose to take time off, both of those could significantly impact the income that we make. Even working flex time, it may mean that we don't get as much done or that we're not able to meet certain deadlines.

We need to know that if we make the decision to keep the same schedule, then we're choosing to give up time with family or time with kids or whatever. Everything's trading off. Think about what is it that is needed from you in the summer. Is it your time? Where do you need to place your energy? What kind of money do you need to make and bring in, and that is going to help lead you to make a choice for yourself and your family? If income is not as necessary for you in the summer, then maybe that's what you plan to make less in the summer, maybe you make it up during the more busy months. Or maybe you don't even need to, that's really a conversation that you need to have. That's why understanding your financials is so important. And again, the Profit First methodology in my course Master Profit teaches you how to save and make money so that you can take time off, and then have the money later. Everything that I teach you with a financial basis is so that you are free to make the choices you need to make for your life and your business.

Speak with your spouse or your partner, and talk about how you want your family to function. You know, is it important that you have meals? Is it important that somebody gets to swim team practice or ball practice or whatever it is, and who's going to do it? It may even mean that you can have a split schedule. So, it's not one person working full-time and one person working part-time, maybe you're both working full-time, but you're being very creative in the way that you schedule your time.

12:37 Try to be as creative as you can. Think about it almost as a puzzle that you're going to put together and look at it as something that you're doing together, not like something that's done to you. That means if you feel like it's done to you, you very much can come into the summer with a victim mentality, and that makes it not enjoyable for anybody. Also, having a detailed business plan and financial plan, like I mentioned earlier, is crucial to making this work. Listen, we all have a season of life, we're all either coming into or out of some type of season. And you've heard me mention that and talk about it on the podcast before. I remember starting my business working with interiors and custom window treatments and fabrics and going into people's homes.

When my kids are really little, I did a lot of my work while they were at mother's morning out. This was even before they were in preschool because they were about two and five years old. And when they napped or they slept, I worked. So I have grown my business and worked it around my children. But not to say that's the only way, it's not, it is one way. But the decision that my husband and I made when I came out of corporate is that I wanted to be a mom and I wanted to be a wife and then I wanted to be a business owner. So it wasn't that I didn't think the business owner part was important. I just knew for me, I had a one-shot deal to be a mom and wife and I wanted to do that. We planned my business to grow as the children grew. Summers were the same way when they were tiny, summers were the hardest. As they grew, summers became much easier. A couple of things that my husband and I talked about was how much do we involve the kids in my work. How much do we shield them from my work? Because they're home and I'm working out of the home. What we chose to do was to invite them in and to make this be yes, it's mom's business, but to make it a full family affair. My kids have grown up and every night at dinner, my husband asked me how my day was I asked him how his was and now that the boys work full-time jobs we’re asking them how their day is. We're having these conversations, but they started when they were really little and they started during summer breaks.

15:02 Some of the things that I did was, I wanted them to see me work. I wanted them to understand that my husband and I both put forth an effort to keep our home together to pay the bills and that it took work and work in most cases came before play. And that if we played first, we still had to do the work. It wasn't that the work got done. No magic fairies came in and did the work for us. It had to be done. So yes, we had flexibility, but work had to be done.

15:28 We also wanted to teach them that life isn't free, and the hard work pays off, and that they weren't entitled. Because my kids, just like any other kids, including me as a little girl, I would have been more than happy to sit down, play games, do nothing, and let Mom and Dad scurry around and do all the work. But that wasn't really building the character in our kids that we chose as a family to build. We wanted them to see that everything I did and their dad did was for the benefit of the family. Then we wanted them to take part in providing a benefit for the family.

16:03 So during those summer work hours, I gave the boys age-appropriate tasks to do. If was working in the morning so we could go to the pool in the afternoon, they woke up, and they knew how to get their breakfast unless they could not, I certainly would do that for them. I would put them to work, they had workbooks, things that we would have them do to keep up with their math and their reading skills. In particular, they would have time to read, we would give them small chores around the house, or they would come in and help me in my workroom. They knew if they got their work done and left me alone, it allowed me to get my work done, and then we get to go play. We got to go to the pool, the park, hang out with friends, have people over, or go over to a playdate, whatever it was. But they also learned, and I held to it, if they horsed around and they didn't complete their task, we didn't go. Because just like in real life, if I'm getting my work done, I'm good to go play. And neither did they and so they very much learned cause and effect.

17:06 They also learned that by helping out the family everybody benefited, which was what I wanted them to learn. Just like they benefited from the income that my husband and I brought into the house. If they would whine and complain, Oh, I don't get to go to the pool at 11, I have to wait until 12 or whatever it is they were doing, we would stop and remind them that this is why we worked and this is what it provides, and if you don't want those things, we can stop. And they would go no, no, no, please stay working, stay working. And they understood. Soon, the whining stopped and they offered to do more, which cleared up the schedule so we can all go play more again. So I never felt like I was sacrificing my kids while working. If we plan for it to be a teaching lesson. If I didn't go into it with a mindset of This is what I'm doing, this is why I'm doing it, and this is what they're going to get out of it, then guilt did creep in. And it started to become a part of oh my gosh, I'm a terrible mom, I'm not spending all my time with my kids. And I'm just going, to be honest, nobody needs to feel like the world revolves around them 24/7. I don't need to think that way, my kids don't need to think that way, and I don't think anybody really does. It’s just not healthy.

18:21 Realizing that there is an appropriate time and place and that there's this balance of work and play, then we get to do both. And if we all work together as a family unit, we get to do it faster. As my kids continued to age, and they were able to do more, I actually brought them into the workroom, and they helped me in my business, and I paid them for it. Sometimes they might be helping me with the drapery panel, sometimes they were picking up pins, sometimes they were creating spreadsheets, because goodness, they teach them computer skills at a young age. Now I even have my kids review my P&L and talk to them about it and explain what entrepreneurship looks like. At 21 and 24, they're much older and much wiser than when we started but they have always seen me work.

19:13 And for me, I'm going to tell you a couple of reasons that were important. Number one, as a woman in our home, I wanted the boys to see that if I chose to have a job or if I chose to own my own company, it was possible. Whether I was male or female, but you know, certainly because I'm female, I wanted them to see that aspect of it. I wanted them to understand that it was possible for me to be a business owner and a wife and a mom, but that there were also trade-offs. Because one day if they potentially had a family, and let's say they have a wife, she may need to work just to keep the family going. I just wanted them to see it -the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty - all of it. I just wanted them to see the dynamic and see the dynamic of my husband and I talking through the hardships of the business. I wanted them to learn all of that and see it. So if that was something they wanted, they would know what they were getting into. And so we just chose not to shelter them. Again, we did all of this as much as we possibly could, at age-appropriate levels. So I certainly didn't go up to my six-year-old and say, let me talk about a P&L with you. But when my son is a finance major, and he's 23 years old in college, it's absolutely appropriate for me to have that conversation and explain it.

Last summer, my 21-year-old was taking accounting. It made perfect sense for me to make it real by pulling up QuickBooks and showing him how that worked. And so for me, my business has been more than something that brought in money, it has been something that gave me an identity separate from mom and wife and for me, that was very important. It's been a way for me to express myself, creatively, it's been a way for my children to learn different things about me, for us to train them, and to show them hard work and to show them how families work. I want you to not shy away from that. Again, you don't have to do it the way I did it, I'm just offering up, here's what we did. Here's the way we made it work as a family and for me as a business. And honestly, sometimes my husband jumped in and did. He works a long day, he's gone from seven to seven. And he would even in the summer sometimes jump in and say I'll take the boys to the pool after dinner for a night swim if you want to go ahead and do some more work. We just learned to balance it, you can do that but it comes by making a choice and looking at it.

21:39 What I want to do now is turn just a little bit, and I want to give you some suggestions on what I don't want you to stop during the summer. So don't stop doing this during the summer. The first thing is don't stop your marketing. Anytime we stopped marketing and promoting, it can take three to six months to regain the footing that you had before. So, it doesn't matter if you're taking on a new client at this point or not, I want your marketing, market market market. Don't lose sight of the fact that you've got to keep your name out there. Remember out of sight, out of mind. We want you to be visible and not be out of sight. So keep your marketing going.

22:18 The other thing that I'd really like for you to do is don't stop taking new calls and consults if you can help it. There's nothing that says you've got to start the full project right now, but reaching out if somebody emails you or calls you or contacts you, responding keeps those ideal clients willing to wait for you. You don't have to say, hey, I'm taking the summer off, or Hey, I'm cutting back the load. You can just say very matter-of-factly my next appointment will be, I'm picking up new projects to start in the fall, and then you give the date and time. Don't be apologetic. And don't tell more than you need to tell. But by responding, it keeps them on the hook and it keeps you moving and it fills your pipeline for the fall.

23:01 The third is to be realistic about your schedule. What I don't want you to do is just keep adding in work or doing things out of guilt or because you're frustrated. Really try to plan out what you can do and what you're willing to do in this summer season. Don't stop learning and gaining inspiration. If you do choose to slow the business down a little bit or stop it or, create some space and time, what I want you to do is instead of stop learning and turning out your business mind off, I want you to turn it on. This is a great time to learn and to gain inspiration. It can be from rest, you can get it from travels, reading books, coaching, and mentoring is a good time to focus on you, your craft and what inspires you.

23:48 Also, don't forget to focus on your health. During the summer, I want you to work out, and rejuvenate it's a time that we're usually more active and all of that plays into you being your best when you return to work at full capacity. So don't come back into the fall so exhausted that you come back with an empty tank. Try to fill your health tank as much as you can.

Let's talk for a second about it as you prepare for summer next year. So you may already be through this summer or we might be a couple of months into it for some of you and a couple of weeks for others, that's okay. I want to give you some tools to prepare for next summer. So next year, taking all this information that we talked about the different options, considering your mindset, what's important, what's not, how you want your family to function, how you can maybe involve the kids or share with the kids, or work your schedule around all of that, really thinks about can it go on hold? Could it go slower? Ask yourself at this stage of life and business what's best for me, my family, and my business in this season. How can you set expectations beforehand? So what that means is you could start working towards what your availability could be, what your workdays are, what hours you're willing to work, and what are those income goals. Again, how can you plan to include your kids?

25:12 Think about this in the months preceding summer. It's always difficult to make a plan when you're in the middle of it, it is easier if you can make the plan in advance. Then that allows you to enjoy the relaxed schedule or even the normal schedule, but it allows you to plan. Just like you can't go out and sign your kid up for a summer camp at the last moment, in a lot of cases, you had to do that month before, I want you to think about your summer, making the plan, because what that does is it allows your mind to get in the right mindset for you to execute it.

25:48 The last thing I want you to do is to have guilt. So how can we remove the guilt that can rear its ugly head during these months? Guilt, you're not building your business when you should, guilt that you aren't with your kids guilt that you aren't getting the work done faster, whatever it is. Again, we're going to make a plan and we're going to make that plan based on choices and decisions. What is acceptable and what is desired by you and your family? Then I want you to take a really deep breath, just breathe in and out and let the rest of it go. It does not matter if your designer friend has chosen a different path. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. If you're looking on Instagram, some people during the summer, they're still posting the same pictures that posted two years ago of their own house or some project that they loved. Not every single one of these, just because they're posting pictures, is out doing new work all day every day. Let it go, choose your path. And then that's what you do.

26:47 Once you've chosen your path, make peace with it. Make peace with how you want your business to grow, how you want it to scale, what you want it to look like in summer, and how you want it to fit into your family. Whether you're in a season of growth or a season of rest, commit to that plan, work the plan. And if you have given it thought, and you know the outcome you desire, it is so much easier to lean into it and then truly enjoy it.

We were never all meant to be on the same path, to have the same experiences, to have the same business model, or the same business outcome or life. That's just not the way it works. So please don't be afraid to blaze a trail that works for you and your family and then ultimately for your business. Do what's right for you. You might not be balanced, but you will be whole and healthy. And your family will be in harmony and they'll thank you for it.

Business ownership isn't easy. It really isn't. I want you to be intentional about your business, own it, and then change what isn't working for you. Please don't feel the need to apologize for making money. If you were at LuAnn Live you heard me say that. Don't be apologetic for earning what you're worth, charging what you're worth, and making an income. And you don't need to apologize for taking a break. We all need a break. I hope that you learned something or heard something in this episode that really resonated with you. Perhaps you've thought about some new things about how to handle your summer schedule. I know mine’s changing and we enjoy going to the lake early on a Friday afternoon. And I'm enjoying creating a schedule that allows me to do that.

If you need help being intentional about the business and the schedule that you're creating. Head over to ScarletThreadConsulting.com and sign up for a discovery call. I'd love to chat with you about being intentional so that you can plan to be profitable. And remember profit doesn't happen by accident. Profit is a Choice is proud to be part of the designnetwork.org where you can discover more design media reaching creative listeners. Thanks for listening and stay creative and business minded.